LOVE IS TO GIVE
Posted on: July 21, 2010
Man cannot realise that he is a baby when he is born. He is like a God with great powers. And the parents are there just to feed that idea. They say “my boy, as strong as a lion or my girl, the most beautiful in the world.” The power of the parents pass onto the child and the child has the power needed for anything. He/she thinks that power belongs to him/her. When the child puts his/her hand up the whole world stands up. When the child smiles everybody smiles and when he/she cries everybody does the same.
But this situation cannot last long. As the child starts to grow up the tolerance parents used to show lessens. Then the power of others leaves him and as he realizes that his power is limited he starts to question his divinity. He is not a God anymore. He starts to get hurt. If the disappointments he came face to face are of optimum level he strengthens his personality and become real. But if they are on a higher level his spiritual growth ceases and he imposes another personality which is inside him and which he only knows. The personality seen by others and the personality he thinks he has start to conflict. He says nobody understands him. He still thinks that he is as strong as the God or as a King and expects others to behave accordingly. He cannot put up with others behaving him as if he were an ordinary person. So, he continuously gets hurt. He thinks people are rude and unsympathetic.
He needs to get mature.
There are four steps to maturity according to psychology:
The phase of jealousy
The phase of envy
The phase of greed
The phase of gratitude
From now on while considering others take these definitions into consideration too. The phase he is in will show his maturity level. Please try to have close friends who have reached the phase of gratitude. Now lets look over these phases shortly.
JEALOUSY, leads to the attitude of destruction of others’ benefactions. He cannot put up with the good things he sees in others and he has destructive intentions against that goodness and its possessor. His least harm would be backbiting. He reviles that person. He cannot see anything good in him. Mawlana says jealousy is the hardest passage in life. Many people cannot get through it and fall back. The jealous person lives only to take. But he cannot stop even after he has taken what he desired because for him nobody has the right to have anything good but him. He is in fact in a hard situation.He feels great pain. His feelings can be seen on his face and in his behaviours and he makes others live his feelings. The things that Prophet Joseph’s brothers did to him are obvious examples of jealousy. Everybody knows what brothers do to each other. You can even observe it in your family among your brothers or children. Firstly, it is necessary to notice this feeling and then realise the need to correct it. Imam-i Gazali suggests praying for the one who you are jealous of.
ENVY, is the lesser phase when compared to jealousy. It is not the feeling that doesn’t let others have the good things they possess. It can be thought as a kind of admiration and the wish to have the same for yourself.
GREED, is to gather everything and not being able to feel satisfied. Mawlana resembles it to goose’s deed: gathering everything and burying them even without selecting good or bad. An endless ambition and cupidity…
The real maturity to be reached is the phase of GRATITUDE. The one who has reached this phase focuses on giving. He gives importance to give others what he has in hand in appropriate amounts. It is the phase of the ability of giving. Giving is superior to taking.
It is understood that the two words or the two properties “maturity” and “giving” should be mentioned together. People who can give are mature. Thus, one should learn to give if he wants to be loved, to be important for others, to have a place in society. He should establish his life on the basis that he should let others make use of his spirit, his wealth, his knowledge and whatever he possesses. He should learn to give.
Giving is a property of only mature people. So, people should be educated on sharing, giving, empathy and these features should be encouraged.
Ramadan is coming soon. It is an important opportunity. People should educate and improve themselves via worships like alms and zakat especially during Ramadan. Otherwise he wastes his time and life stuck in primitive phases.
Now it is time to hear from Mawlana:
It beseems the generous man thus to give money (but) verily: the generosity of the lover is the surrender of his soul (life).
If you give bread fo God’s sake, you will be given bread (in return); if you give you life fo God’s sake, you will be given life ( in return).
If the leaves of this plane-tree drop off, the Creator will bestow on it the provision of leaflessness (spiritual poverty).
If because of your liberality no wealth remains in you hand, how should the bounty of God let you be downtrodden?
When anyone sows, his bam becomes empty (of seed) but there is Godliness in his cornfield;
And if he leaves it (the seed) in the barn and saves it up, weevils and mice and calamities (of time and decay) devour it.
This world is negation (of reality): seek (reality) in affirmation (of God). Your form (body) is void (of reality): seek in your essence.
Bring the briny bitter (animal) soul to the sword: buy the (heavenly) soul that is like a great sweet river.
(Mathnawi.1.2235-2242)
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